March 4, 2011

date night... just me, michael and the local police

My Mom works for a surgeon's office and has been there for years. To make some extra money, my sister and her husband clean the office once a week. That's important to know for this story.

So it's Ashley and Anthony's one year wedding anniversary this weekend. Congratulations you two! They are going away for the weekend so she asked if Michael and I would mind cleaning the doctor's office instead. I would do anything for my sister, so I agreed and brought Michael in on this little adventure. He decided it would be best if we did it tonight (Friday night) to get it over with so we could enjoy our weekend.

Now, Friday night is usually date night for us. It usually involves going to the movies, dinner, dessert, holding hands, going for a walk on the beach, snuggling, etc. This particular Friday night involved dirty clothes, cleaning, taking out trash, sweating, etc.

I'm going to tell this story just as it happened for your entertainment. And because I have no pictures that relate, I will also include totally random pictures for your visual enjoyment. I am also changing the code so no creepers break into my mother's place of work. Thanks for understanding.

Valentine's flowers from M

I checked the clock on Michael's car radio... 8:05 pm. It was late and we had just eaten dinner at Texas Roadhouse, where they serve yeast rolls with cinnamon butter. Be still my heart. My belly was full and I was ready for sleep, but we pulled up in front of a dark doctor's office instead of my warm, inviting house.

Michael turned the car off and I reached down into my purse to pull out the directions Ashley had printed for us. I glanced over the directions and looked over at Michael.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Yep! Let's do it." He enthusiastically replied. Always the optimist.

I dragged my feet out of the car and struggled keeping my purse over my shoulder on top of my huge winter jacket. It was freezing, so we hurried over to the side door.

"Do you have the key?" I asked, shivering.

Michael takes the key out of his pocket and turns the lock. We rush inside, and stand next to the alarm key pad, just staring at it.

I pull out my directions and read the code out loud to whoever was listening, "7882!!"

"Okay type it in!" Michael exclaimed.

I pull the cover off the beeping keypad and type 7882. The beeps do not stop, they only get closer together and louder. I'm thinking this is a pretty bad situation, so I start frantically typing the code in over and over, thinking that it will just work eventually.

That's when the alarm went off, but only for a second. My genius boyfriend pressed "OFF - 7882" and quieted the alarm. Who would have thought that's how it worked?

I looked over at him, a solemn expression on my face and said, "I bet the cops are on their way."

"Nah, I doubt it. We turned it off in time, I'm sure they will see that."

I have faith in my dear boyfriend, so we walked into the dark office.

"This is total creeptown." I said while feeling my way to the light switch.

The bright fluorescent lights illuminated the once dark and creepy office. We gathered our cleaning supplies and started looking over the "To Do" list when the phone rang.

"Michael. I bet that's the alarm company!" I said.

He replied, "There is no way! It's just someone calling the office."

"Who calls a doctor's office at 8:00 pm??! No one! No one does that! It's the alarm company for sure."

The call went to voice mail. Michael and I stood in silence, staring at each other. I had a roll of paper towels in one hand and a spray bottle of Windex in the other. Then the phone rang again.

"Okay. That is the alarm company. We need to answer it and tell them we aren't burglars!" Since my hands were full, I used my shoulder to push hair out of my face and stare at Michael in desperation. I was hoping if I made my eyes look really wide and worried, he would take this thing seriously and answer the phone so I didn't have to.

"No, honey. We can't just answer the phone." Michael said.

"Um, yes we can! Unless you would like to get arrested tonight." You can always count on me for sarcasm in moments like this.

Voice mail picks up the call.

"Okay. Let's just stick this vacuum cleaner by the door in case the cops do come. Then they will see it and know we are just cleaning." Michael suggests.

That sounded like the best idea I had ever heard in my life, so we move the vacuum cleaner by the front door and tried to put the whole thing behind us, hoping for the best. Michael announced that he was going to the bathroom and walked down the hall. I stood in the aisle, glancing around, totally freaked out and wondering if I ever really decided to rob a place, I should just bring a vacuum cleaner and stick it by the front door.

That's when the doorball rang.

I ran down the hall and yelled at Michael through the bathroom door, "What are you doing??!"

"I'm going to the bathroom!"

"Okay well please hurry up! The doorbell just rang!" I yelled.

I heard the toilet flush and sighed in relief. I didn't want to go anywhere in that building without Michael by my side. I was laughing hysterically, but at the same time I was picturing us being carried away in handcuffs. I'm sure Michael is glad to know he can really count on me to be rational in stressful situations.

When he walked out of the bathroom I said, "I think the cops are here."

"Are you sure you heard the doorbell ring? It might just be the music."

As if on cue, it rang again.

"Okay, that's definitely the doorbell." Michael agreed.

I followed Michael towards the front of the office, quietly tiptoeing because I thought it was important to be silent for some reason. I'm sure we didn't look suspicious at all. We reached the corner that leads to the waiting room. I pressed my hands into Michael's back so I could lean forward and look down the hallway. I saw a policeman lurking in the door, peering through the glass at our guilty faces. My heart started beating faster. I'm thinking, "Didn't he notice the vacuum cleaner?!"

Michael walks up to the door and opens it, saying, "Hello officer. I'm sorry about this."

I stick my head out from behind him and say, "We are just cleaning!"

Why do we get so silly and goofy around police officers? If he had asked us to hop on one foot in circles around the parking lot, we probably would have done it.

"I see that." He said. I silently thanked Michael for the vacuum cleaner idea.

Michael explained that we were just doing a favor for a friend and we had never done this before, so we accidentally set the alarm off. The thing about men, they are good at saying things in as few words as possible. I do not have that trait. If I had been leading the conversation, we would have all three been standing there for 7 minutes while I told the police officer the story of my sister's wedding last March and how we have always been close and that she is going away and we are there cleaning and what my mother's maiden name is and my social security number. I probably would have thrown in a funny childhood story and then laughed nervously while looking at Michael hoping he would pull me out of that desperate situation.

Luckily, none of that happened. Luckily, Michael was there and he told the officer what was going on in one simple sentence.

My office at work! See, I told you this was random.

He nodded his understanding and began to turn around. Then as if he remembered we might actually be criminals, he asked, "Can I have your names?"

We gave him our names and he turned to go. I wondered if our names were then going on some suspect list somewhere, then realized he was probably just doing that because he had to.

After he left, we locked the door behind him. Relief washed over me while my heart rate slowed down. Michael and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. How hysterical that within minutes, we had created mass hysteria from something that was just a simple good deed for a loved one.

Brand New is one of my favorite bands of all time. True story.

It ended up taking us like 2 1/2 hours to clean the office because we were goofing around and playing music and kissing in the hallways. It's nice to know that we can have fun and enjoy our time together, no matter what we are doing.

And now we can say we had the cops called on us, sort of. Definitely a date night to remember.


  1. Oh lord I would have been scared to DEATH. But at least now you'll have a story to pass on to your future kids. Maybe you can make it a little scarier so that they'll be afraid against doing anything that might involve cops ever.

  2. haha i would have been crazy scared! also BN are one of my fav bands ever aswell!!

  3. Hee hee! :) That was a very entertaining story...I liked your detective mystery writing style. And those were some very random pictures! Isn't it the best to have found someone you can have fun with no matter what you're doing? I love that. But hopefully the rest of your wknd will go a little better ;)

  4. wow sherlock h- i mean sherlock jenna, you have mystery skills to add to your forte! haha really that was an awesome date night because the best way to be arrested is to have someone you love with you- to help bail you out! i would have freaked out and i wonder what the policeman thought- just a couple of lovesick teenagers strangely into cleaning!! love your posts jenna~ ellen ;)

  5. This would only happen to you, Jenna. At least you had calm Michael with you. I can't imagine how the story would have played out if you had been alone. Michael to the rescue again !!

  6. The way you explain things is just plain hilarious. I enjoyed the random pictures thoughout the story. I'm glad your date night didn't turn into an evening at the police station.

  7. hahaha oh dear, we all have those days!! and i must add, weekly date nights are sooooo romantic. love love it. :D